The Story Of Us - A Year In Review

A year has come and gone and HOKIS and Your Humble Observer have a million reasons to celebrate. In the week leading up to our first anniversary, I would like to reflect upon a two-and-a-half year period that led up to this moment - from proposal to the paper anniversary.

Since we live in a social media world and our every action is constantly being monitored by...someone... I have decided to use, as a mirror, the various InstaFaceLinkTwit posts leading up to the wedding then beyond into our "Newlywed Year".

Up Curtain:

April 2, 2011

Just asked the love of my life to marry me.

                >>...oh, and she said yes, by the way.

April 30, 2011

H: I don't think any of these venues are going to be big enough for the amount of people we expect.
YHO: Honey...Buckingham Palace isn't big enough for the amount of people we expect.

June 22, 2011

Why I Love Her-
H: Oh my God, Nar. I found a picture that shows EXACTLY what I want for the wedding. I sent it to my friend and she LOVED it, and I sent it to my cousin who agreed it so totally me. So I emailed it to your mom and my mom too to see what they think, but Nar it's so beautiful!
YHO: Well, now that all the important people have seen your image of our wedding, any chance us second tier people can get a peek?

September 8, 2011

YHO: Hey, wanna get married?

September 21, 2011

I have a question: If I'm trying to add you to my Google+ and I'm trying to decide which of my circles you fit into, which do I pick? Clearly "Friend" would be an insult, but "Family" is kind of premature. I'm so confused. Any advice would help. Do I create a "Nushanadz" circle, or do I just abandon this whole endeavor and pretend Google+ doesn't exist?

December 18, 2011

YHO: What the _________ is a "cutting cost"?
H: They charge you for cutting the cake.
YHO: THEY CHARGE YOU FOR CUTTING THE CAKE? _______ that, I'll cut the damn thing myself!

February 17, 2012

I just want you to know that, in preparation for your arrival, I vacuumed the couch. Because I love you THAT much!

April 28, 2012

Khunami

June 26, 2012

I handed this to HOKIS and she said, "Oooh, lovely!"
...What is it?

September 27, 2012

H: You know, honey, lately your jokes have been a real stretch. Like it takes some explanation to get them.
YHO: Ya, well, I'm married now. I don't have to try anymore.

December 31, 2012  

My wife just counted down to 11:30... I don't think she gets it. 

January 5

Some put their fathers-in-law on a pedestal.
I put mine on the refrigerator.
#LaddersAreTooEasy #WhyWouldntYouSitOnTheFridge #ItsNotColdEnoughInNYC #ArekAsKakuhChashkhadeer #HouseholdChores

  

June 6

N: Ashkharkun dzov, toon mechu nav
H: Who said that?
N: Sayat Nova
H: YES! He totally gets me.

Fin

Mind Boggling Phenomena - Ready For A Cane And A Rocking Chair

Today I rode the New York City subway for the first time in about a year. Due to the fact that I hadn't employed this form of transportation in quite some time, I had forgotten the value of headphones to maintain some form of sanity. As I sat there pondering life, on came three young boys, aged roughly 12-13. And here we pick up on their conversation:

- Yo, I was wearing a t-shirt, and my teacher flipped her s!#$. I don't even know why. All it said was "Shut Up, Fool!"

She said it's inappropriate. 

I'm like, "Why?"

Now I don't know what's more offensive:

A. That this little jerk doesn't understand why it's inappropriate for a 6th grader to be wearing such a shirt. Blame it on: Youth

2. That this little jerk's parents allowed him to wear suck a shirt at age 11 and/or never instilled in him the idea of 'appropriate'

Blame it on: Mommy

D. That the readership continues to pressure Your Humble Observer into bringing a child into this rotten society. 

No thanks. 

The Story Of Us - The Pizza Theory

A fun little Italy*-inspired photo version of The Story Of Us.

Newlyweds encounter a lot of peri-nuptial counsel, both solicited and otherwise, from all the veterans out there of the marriage game.

Some of these words of wisdom are instructive, dripping with wisdom that comes with age and experience.

Some are... well... less than savory.

While most of these pearls are common and easily understandable (i.e. never go to bed angry) here's what I've come to understand in 252 days in marriage:

As important as it may be to share values, goals, and, above all else, RESPECT, you need someone who complements you, a la "The Olive Theory"**. For Your Humble Observer and HOKIS, it's all about "The Pizza Theory"

YHO - Straight lines, ordered slicing, symmetric wedges

HOKIS - Odd angles, irregular slicing, asymmetric wedges

8 months and 10 days in - I can't imagine anyone else in this world with whom I'd rather share a slice of Sorrentine pizza

*More on Italy to come
**THE OLIVE THEORY

In Texto Veritas - Humor Of The Yutes

Humor Of The Yutes

From: A conversation between AK and Your Humble Observer

Date: 01/12/2013

Time: 11:52

Format: G-Chat

AK: That's me being upset because I did God awful on a practice test this morning.

YHO: Everything that practice test said is Bull S@#$

AK: Ok, stop living in my head. That's exactly what I said after the test.

YHO: HAHAHAHA!

AK: I'm not joking. I even said the 'Thank you' at the end of it

YHO: Great minds think alike.

AK: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

*1/2 point if you can guess the movie referenced in this conversation

In Texto Veritas - The Flying Trapezius

The Flying Trapezius

From: Anonymous
Date: 01/10/2013
Time: 18:32
Format: G-Chat

"So far my [Anatomy] professor has sent out 3 emails in 3 days of school with slide corrections. I mean, come on! It's Anatomy. It's not like they suddenly found a new Trapezius muscle in the popliteal fossa."

Bless Us All

Merry Christmas!

May you enjoy your day with those closest to you.

Mending The Broken Hearted

A short two years and nine months ago I sat in the little library of Brooklyn Hospital and stared at the computer. I'm sure an attending physician was wondering about my whereabouts, but there I sat and stared. March 15, 2010. One of those career-defining days filled with enough of an adrenergic drive to send a junkie into ACS. Match Day 2010. It was that fateful day that would set a course that would shape my future.

And now, 997 days later I was faced with the same sympathetic overdrive as I patiently awaited to find out what kismet had in store. With one brief mouse click my future came into sharp focus - Congratulations, you have matched! Cardiovascular Disease - SUNY HSC Brooklyn, NY. 

And thus, I committed to another three years in my beloved Brooklyn in training to become a Cardiologist - a dream from my elementary school days, since the first time I ran into my father's room to show him my drawing of the heart and to explain to him how the blood moved from atrium to ventricle.

In accordance with one of my life motto's that nothing happens in a vacuum, I must take a moment to thank all those who stood by me since those first lonely days in a foreign land, namely my beautiful wife HOKIS, without whom I would have slipped off the frayed ends of sanity. My parents and brothers who always believe in everything I do. The whole family - old and new - who are the single best cheering section anyone could ever ask for. The island Council, my colleagues in the trenches with me on a day to day basis, and you, the readership, who understand what this blog means to me and keep checking here despite it looking like I've fallen off the Earth from time to time.

So bring me your CHF, your a-fib, your in-stent restenosis! We're staying in sunny SUNY Brooklyn!

Veteran's Day

Thank you to all who served.

"Because they stand on a wall and say, "Nothing's going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.

-Lieutenant Commander Galloway
--A Few Good Men

A Plea

As a matter of trying to keep the dialogue civil on "Keeping An Eye...", Your Humble Observer made a conscious decision to avoid delving into the political battle brewing just outside his Brooklyn apartment window. I've engaged in political topics in the past, as the loyal readership will remember. It was fun. It was mind-numbing. It was mind-boggling. And we're over it. So in 2012, we refrained from explicitly exploring the exciting world of Decision 2012.

However, as I sit here in the apartment in my cold empty apartment, I am a man personally torn. For years I refused to engage in the act of voting, much to the chagrin of many around me. I simply refused to play the stupid game. It began as an act of political rebellion (although I'm not exactly sure how... you'll have to ask 2000 YHO) and continued as a figurative waving of the flag of apathy. After years of this hard-line stance, in 2012 YHO finally gave in to the political game and registered to vote. And yet I sit, as torn as the first sentence of this paragraph.

I can't decide. I'll admit, I'm not exactly the best-informed political consumer. I know some things, but I'm not as politically well-versed (or Versed?) as I or any American should be. I can't decide. I don't have a candidate and I simply don't know.

Fortunately, the founders of the country didn't make any provisions about the ability to vote based on level of information that I have.

STOP!!!!!

I know there is a certain percentage of you who just had the thought, "Ya, well, there SHOULD be a provision on stupid people voting." Anyone who thought that can just stop reading right now, because there is no way in hell I can have an intelligent discussion with you. The right to vote, the ability to vote, the obligation to vote is not and should never be based on intelligence, education, or level of information.

Ya, I know it pains you elitists out there to hear those words, but there are so very few things that offend me more than hearing how "stupid people" should simply not be allowed to vote. It is so intellectually offensive to make the claim - and I know it's out there. I've heard it since 2000 Bush v. Gore.

So here I sit. An educated man. Unsure. Undecided. Fortunately for an idiot like me, there is Mr. Jeff Greenfield. Mr. Greenfield is a veteran of the news industry, and I'm sure very good at what he does. He wrote a wonderful piece called "My Plea To The Undecided: Stay Home!". Well, needless to say, this perked my ears up. Let's see what he thinks, shall we?

"As the momentous day approaches, with epochal consequences for an anxiously awaiting world, I take pen in hand—make that apply fingertips to keypad—to renew a traditional plea I first made more than 30 years ago...

It’s a plea directed to those of you who are still uncertain about which way to vote. And it’s as simple as it is heartfelt: Stay home."

Interesting. Well, at least the title wasn't misleading. He goes on to explain that for 6 years both major candidates' lives, policies, proposed policies, and even their magic underwear have been thoroughly explored and made available to the public. His conclusion? If you don't know by now,

"You have the reasoning power of a baked potato."

You know, considering how stupid I am, I always fancied myself a tater-tot. We continue. Next is the disclaimer that there is a small minority who are actually well informed but still undecided. I thought he might be referring to me, but he proceeds to discount that this may actually apply to YHO.

"So it strikes me as a sound, honest statement for a prospective voter to say: “Look, I haven’t given this election a minute’s thought, and it’s just not fair for me to cancel out the vote of someone who actually gives a damn.”

Indeed, it’s not just sound and honest—it’s the ethically responsible thing to do...

Allow me a Family Feud moment here as I give Mr. Greenfield a big giant:

X

"So if you’re one of those folks who have stayed utterly disengaged through all of this, do the honorable thing: Honor those for whom the vote really matters by staying home.
You’ll be doing yourself—and the country—a favor."

Apparently, party-line and single issue voters who literally haven't given a second thought about voting for the candidate they've been sure of are more eligible voters than myself, someone actually torn by the issues at hand. I shouldn't in good conscience cancel out their vote (PERISH THE THOUGHT!) by actually exercising my right, uninformed as I am.

I don't know if Mr. Greenfield knew my situation and was using some reverse-psychology mumbo-jumbo to get me to go rock the vote tomorrow. What I do know, is that I am SO thankful he has weighed in on the undecided voters such as myself. Now I can go back to my 3 recorded football games and worry more about my fantasy picks. Apparently, that will do less harm to this country than casting my ballot.

I'm glad Mr. Greenfield's opinion has been voiced. I don't know if I was able to illustrate what a dangerous line of thinking this is. Maybe I haven't. I don't have the writing skills or political acumen as a 5-time Emmy winner. What I do know, is that discouraging voters under the premise of "Leave the voting to those who know best" is utterly elitist, unethical, and disgusting based on the founding principles of this country.

So I say go cast your ignorant votes tomorrow. Otherwise, you may be standing in line behind me at the "License To Breed Bureau".

Read the article and tell me where I went wrong.

Stay Home

Writing On The Wall - Word On The Street

Apparently, enough people are staring down at their iPhondroids and getting hit by the B63 that the City of New York feels the need to provide this friendly reminder.