Keeping An Eye On The Storm Going By - Hurricane Watch 2012 vol 5.378

The worst of Sandy has come and gone and left a good bit of destruction in her path for residents of the tri-state area. Fortunately, the New Yorker's spirit remains unbeatable. Here is a photo of one of my borough-mates, in a show of utter defiance against mother nature's forces, using his leaf blower before Sandy made landfall. YA! YOU SHOW THEM!

 

Keeping An Eye On The Storm Going By - Hurricane Watch 2012 vol 4.serious

Much of our "coverage" of Hurricane Sandy has been an attempt to approach a very real natural disaster with a modicum of humor. We here at Keeping An Eye... are very aware of the human tragedies occurring in a radius of less than 20 miles around us. Our approach to these situations is as follows: we do not believe that any human suffering is humorous in any way and we feel for those who are suffering from the effects of the storm. At the writing of this post, CNN is reporting 11 deaths, 3 million without power, all NYC area airports shut down, and water entering the subway system. Obviously, Sandy is having a massive effect on the region.

Nonetheless, we also believe that we need to live our lives as we know how and we must cope with these events in the way we know how. For us here at KAEOTWGB (ya, I don't think I can use that acronym anymore) we deal with events such as Hurricane Sandy with a sarcastic look, particularly as a reflection of the sensationalism and overreaction that bombards us via the media and the general public. We understand that our political leaders and civil servants need to exercise an excess of caution in times like these. However, when one weighs the excess level of concern exhibited by our loved ones who are observing Sandy from a distance versus the actual level of imposition into our lives and direct danger that we face it becomes quite clear that the information being provided - nay - the manner in which the information is being provided is not accurately reflecting what we at Keeping An Eye... are experiencing.

We appreciate the concern of our friends, family, and loved ones. Please know that at this time, HOKIS and I are doing quite well, in fact, it's like any other Monday night in Brooklyn save for the occasional noisy wind gust and flickering of the lights. Of course we pray that it stays this way for us and the rest. We continue to pray for those who are unfortunately experiencing a much more drastic manifestation of Hurricane Sandy. We wish you all God's speed and comfort in these times. Please know that our humor is our coping mechanism, and not intended to be a slap in the face. We hope that some day you may see the humor and, maybe, let out a chuckle.

~YHO

Keeping An Eye On The Storm Going By - Hurricane Watch 2012 vol 3.6

Keeping An Eye On The Storm Going By - Hurricane Watch 2012 vol 3.1

And now, back to NK for another update...

Keeping An Eye On The Storm Going By - Hurricane Watch 2012 vol 3.0

...and now, we throw it to our roving reporter, NK, for coverage from inside the hurricane.

Stay safe, NK!

Keeping An Eye On The Storm Going By - Hurricane Watch 2012 vol 2.0

With every natural disaster such as Hurricane Sandy the biggest fear is loss of our basic infrastructure and utilities. None greater, is the fear of losing our fresh drinking water. Since we have no way of knowing whether the water supply has been compromised, YHO and HOKIS have been reduced to drinking lattes to try and stay hydrated. May God have mercy on us

Save us Obama! Dig into your secret stash and send us water and biscottis!

Keeping An Eye On The Storm Going By - Hurricane Watch 2012 vol 1.0

Exactly 14 months ago* our little corner of the world was devastated by a little cloud cover that was called Irene (see devastation below). Here we sit today, YHO and HOKIS, hunkered down in our little home awaiting the arrival of another b!@#$ named Sandy. Frankly, Sandy's imminent arrival terrifies me. But not for the reasons you would think. Here is a list of the damage Sandy could do to me:

1. The Wind - No, I'm not worried that I'm going to be blown away to Missouri (in fact, I hear the storm is having quite the opposite effect). I'm more worried that my satellite connection will be disrupted. The 49ers are scheduled for Monday Night Football tomorrow. It's a division game, people!

2. The Rain - I just bought a new umbrella. The last thing I need is to lose #472 since moving to New York four years ago

3. The Devastation - I'm on coverage elective. If my colleagues can't make it into work, I'm going to have to haul my bum into the hospital to cover their's.

4. Life, Interrupted - Dear Mayor Bloomberg, Governors Cuomo and Christie. Don't you worry your little political heads off. I'm staying off the subway, in my home, away from trees and downed electrical lines. Please stop coming on my TV, interrupting Game 4 of the World Series.

Please pray for YHO. God bless you, friends, and God bless America.

Oh, the devastation! Curse you, Irene!

*According to Wikipedia, Hurricane Irene made landfall in Brooklyn, NY on August 28, 2011.

**Oh jeez, here we go. A post like this has to come with a disclaimer. No, I'm not suggesting that football, baseball, or the comfort of my own home are more important than any REAL potential danger. I am NOT in favor of injury, loss of life, limb, property, or the pursuit of happiness. I'm merely trying to make myself and maybe a few of you laugh. You know for future YHO when he checks back and reads this 3 years later. Please for the love of the Deity, all of you stay safe, warm and dry. I am YHO and I approve this disclaimer.

Mind Boggling Phenomena - *Ring-Ring* Hello, Al?

In an attempt to shift the blog back to its original spirit here is a conversation Your Humble Observer was fortunate enough to be a part of :

YHO: Hello, I would like to return this merchandise that was delivered broken.
Retail Worker: It was delivered damaged?
YHO: Yes Ma'am
RW: Well, did you call them?
YHO: Did I call... them?
RW: Ya. Did you call them?
YHO: Did I call... *confused look* who?
RW: The... the... uh... the... the internet.
YHO: Did I... call... the INTERNET?
RW: You know, the people on the internet.
YHO: Um... no I brought my damaged merchandise back to the store it was purchased from. I did NOT call the internet.
RW: Well, you're going to have to wait until I can figure this out.
YHO: *muttering* You take your time now.

And now, the subtext:


YHO: Yo. I'm post-call and exhausted. This stuff came broken. Take it back!
Retail Worker: Bro- ken?
YHO: Were you not present for the start of this conversation?
RW: I can't deal with this. I'm going to pawn this off on someone else. Hmmm, let me try to pin this on "them".
YHO: Wha...huh?
RW: Oh crap, he's on to me. Quick, figure out who "them" could be.
YHO: Wha...HUH?
RW: Everyone blames that internet thing. Ya, let's go with that
YHO: Is that a real question? Are you really going with "the internet"?
RW: Double down time - Yes, the internet.
YHO: Crap, I'm screwed. Let me try some bigger words like "purchased". Maybe that will work.
RW: Well, that didn't work. Let me use my upper hand of "I'm too busy" to buy some time.
YHO: By all means, take your time. I ain't slept in 36 hours, but, you know, go ahead and call the internet or Mars or Santa Clause. I should have just gone in to work today.

The Story Of Us - Three Little Words

"I love you."

Less than 6 months had passed since the dawn of our new relationship. It was Christmas time. There was excitement in the air. We had made it through the first months of our budding relationship. HOKIS and I had managed to make things work despite being worlds apart, she being a college freshman at UC Big City and me, an up-and-coming junior at UC Agriculture.

I knew these words could send her running for the hills. So young and in such a young relationship. Maybe she should have run for the hills. What's more telling is that she didn't. She looked me right in the eye and said the words back. You would think I would have run for the hills. I didn't.

"I love you"

Less than 6 months into the re-kindling of an old romance. The re-birth of an old friendship. The reincarnation of something that never truly died. She was preparing to leave after visiting me in NYC. The first time since that fateful turn of the year when all of the above "RE-'s" occurred. She had just started walking toward security at the airport. Outwardly, I was playing it cool. In my mind I was screaming, "STOP! TURN AROUND! DON'T GO!"
She stopped. She turned around. She didn't leave... at least not yet. She came right back up to me and laid those three words on me - words unspoken for over 3 years, yet familiar, known, understood. I looked her right in the eye and said the words back. She could have just flown away. She didn't.

"I love you"

Somewhere, from a speaker came the voice of Ol' Blue Eyes. He was saying something about a day when he felt awfully low. That day, I never felt higher. As I sang the words to her, we swayed back and forth. There may have been 450 people there... I wouldn't have known. We were running for the hills. We were flying.

The Story Of Us - The Wedding

World Series Game 7, Bottom of the 9th, Down by 3, Bases loaded, 2 outs, Full Count, and you're up to bat... every little boy's dream. Slightly incongruous with the cliche of the "every little girls dream": My Big Fat Fairy-Tale Wedding

The dream disparity: When you're 9 years old it doesn't really matter. When you're 19 it's expected.
When you're 29 the world is completely different (though you still haven't given up the dream of hitting the home run in the above scenario...it could happen!)

You see, the average boy-teen-man never developed an image of the dream wedding. I don't think that it's particularly necessary that they do. What I do know is that when that day comes and she turns the corner to take a peak at the final product of all those months of hard work, you dream that her reaction is for her to gasp, "Oh my God, it's like a fairy-tale!"

There is no doubt in that moment when she's gushing over her dream wedding, in that moment when you're staring into each other's eyes as you dance to Sinatra's "The Way You Look Tonight", in that moment when the church doors open and she's standing there, those are the moments that - if it's right, if she's the one - then her dream wedding becomes his dream wedding too.

For HOKIS and me, that day came September 8, 2012. I don't know a whole lot about lighting, decor, runners, chargers, or any such things. I do know one thing, our wedding ensured that for the rest of my life, HOKIS will not just be my wife - she will always be my bride. She will always be the one that took my breath away when the church doors opened. She will always be my dance partner for "The Way You Look Tonight". She will always be the one who's eyes sparkled as she beheld the fairy-tale wedding before her. We had our dream wedding.

The Story Of Us - One Month

What I've learned in 1 month of marriage:

1. This is what will come off your new bride's head after your wedding















2. You will quickly develop a 5 point "Quality Assurance Checklist" for fine china

3.Turning "I", "Me", and "Mine" into "We", "Us", and "Our" is not as simple as you think

4. It still makes me smile when HOKIS says, "My husband..."

5. It still makes me smile when I say, "My wife..."

6. Couch shopping is actually kind of fun

7. Even though you've lived apart for the great majority of your relationship, when she's away for 3 days it feels like an eternity

8. I have SOOOO much more to learn about marriage.