Day Of Thanksing 2009

With the approach of the most autumnal of holidays, Your Humble Observer decided to try his hand at cooking his first every turkey. The results....well, you be the judge:

Thanksgiving dinner was enjoyed with the participation and help of friends H.A. and S.A. We ate until we were stuffed to the giblets. Much fun. On to Christmas...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

A Christmas Throwback

Just because I don't feel like re-posting the same stuff. Just watched the movie again and I remember how much I love this scene. Check it out and start getting in the Christmas mood.

Jovi & Buddy

Mind Boggling Phenomena - Bleep The Meep

I like these kids. They've got some creativity. Here's to you, kids of Danvers High School!

From the Associated Press:

Thu Nov 12, 5:13 pm ET

DANVERS, Mass. – Who knew "Meep!" was a four-letter word? The utterance favored by bungling lab assistantBeaker of "The Muppet Show" has been banned at Danvers High School in Massachusetts after students said it to repeatedly interrupt school.

Principal Thomas Murray said the word was part of a disruption planned using Facebook.

The Salem News reportsthat parents recently got an automated call about "Meep!" from Murray. He warned them that students who said or displayed the word at school could be suspended.

Murray says the warning was needed because students didn't heed his "reasonable request" to stop the meeping.

Danvers High sophomore Melanie Crane says it doesn't mean anything in particular.

Rise Of The Fall #3 - The Return of the Magi

Amidst all this color, weather, and clothing change, how does one recognize the end of the fall season and the beginning of the winter holidays? Well, thankfully, the Brooklyn holiday street decorators take care of that for you:

Rise Of The Fall #2 - The Fall Colors Strike Back

As with all times of the year, autumn in NY brings with it a unique feeling. The chilly air, the smell of smoke from the chimneys, and of course the flavors of the season: pumpkin pie, fresh ripe apples of the northwest, and cinnamon and spice lattes.

Though difficult to convey this feeling in words, some of my fellow Brooklyners (or is it -ites? I digress) have found a way to make the feeling come alive in decoration.

A Welcome Break

These days Your Humble Observer finds himself on warmer shores...or at least theoretically.

Thanks to a 2 week gap in YHO's schedule, I've temporarily relocated to California where the weather is marginally warmer, family is plentiful, and the beer flows like wine*.

I've found that it's difficult to adjust from the go-go lifestyle of clinical rotations to the nothing-to-do-no-one-to-answer-to lifestyle. One seeks out projects and such to fill one's time. So I've undertaken a Sisyphean task: The transfer of 20 years worth of home videos from 8mm video to DVD. As we say on the island: Ooooooooooooook!

My break will last until Nov. 7 when I fly back to the Medz Khuntsor to start my next rotation - Endocrinology. Until then, it's back to my Rangers pajamas and videos from 1989!

*136,000 points to the person who identifies the source of this quote

Rise Of The Fall #1 - A New Hope

This city (That's New York City for those who may not know) has so many things to offer that you'd be hard-pressed to find anywhere else. While I can sit here and enumerate this list, let me focus on one aspect that I truly love about the Big Manzana: Autumn.

That's right, Californians, listen up. In this part of the world, the leaves actually DO change color and fall from the trees, exactly like they used to teach us in those big science textbooks. You can actually feel the summer days wane, slipping into brisker weather and shorter days. There is a palpable feel that is difficult to describe, but you know it's there when you're walking down 3rd Ave in Brooklyn on a chilly October Saturday afternoon.

In this post, Your Humble Observer attempts to document, through poor-quality cell phone photos, this change in seasons. I've tried to capture the color and the feel as much as possible, but realize that there are limitations even to the best technology has to offer (not to mention I leave the house at 6 am when it's dark and don't get back until 7 pm...when it's dark). So here we go. The first photos are taken serially from roughly the same spot on my block in Brooklyn.

Children And Alphabet Soup

Residency application season is in full swing. On September 1st, the online application opened it's doors for the thousands of applicants to start flooding residency programs with shiny application, sparkly resumes, and glowing letters of recommendation (affectionately called LoR's in the application world).

To say it's a maddening system is an understatement. The whole process is dominated by what I like to call the Application Alphabet Soup. The applicant must be able to sift through more acronyms than you can shake a Bovie at. ERAS, NRMP, ECFMG, LoR, OASIS, ACGME are just a few such acronyms. However, through sheer grit and determination Your Humble Observer has somehow managed to work his way through.

The response has been fairly positive thus far with a few bumps in the road. For now, it's all about scheduling interviews and trying to decide what features of a residency program are important to the individual applicant.

In the meantime, I have found myself in one of the more rewarding rotations - Pediatrics. It's great to see the kids get better and be up and around playing in the playroom, and of course, you've got to love the well child visits where the kids are happy, healthy, and playful. It's an interesting rotation, but I doubt the field is for me.

The rotation will be over at the end of this week, then I get two glorious weeks to spend with my family back in the homeland. After that it's back to NYC for an Endocrinology rotation. Please reference schedule below.

Writing On The Wall - The Ultimate Transformer

If only there was a place versatile enough...

Why I Love Cali in October

Here's a look back at a post from last year. This is why I look forward to arrival of Fall and the month of October every year:

Harvester of Joy

26 & 7/32 - Trial Run

Last Sunday Your Humble Observer took on his first running challenge by participating in the PO Chris Hoban Memorial 5-Mile Run. The race was a nice brisk 5-mile jaunt along Shore Road and through the Bay Ridge neighborhood of Brooklyn. YHO and running buddy M.A. not only got a glimpse into the race atmosphere, we got a lesson in proper race preparation.

YHO posted a time of 51:07.52 (Pace 10:14/mile) and came in 375/612 runners. Not too bad for a first race.

Next on the agenda is the Coney Island Boardwalk 5K Turkey Trot. The goal is to run a sub-10 minute pace.

The Good Die Young

R.I.P Cliff Burton

(February 10, 1962 – September 27, 1986)

"When a man lies, he murders some part of the world

These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives

All this I cannot bear to witness any longer

Cannot The Kingdom of Salvation take me home?"

26 & 7/32 - A New Challenge

About 2-3 months back a friend suggested that I take on a new challenge: running a half-marathon. At first, I scoffed at the idea, believing that running of any kind was an activity for anyone but Your Humble Observer. After mulling it over for a bit, however, I thought that perhaps doing something to step out of my comfort zone would do me good. Frankly, I had been feeling a bit sluggish since surgery and ob/gyn rotations as I could rarely find time to exercise during those 6 months.

So I accepted the offer. We agreed that because we were novice runners it would be impractical to aim for the 2009 half-marathon, so we're training for 2010. It was a bit difficult to start up at first, what with my resistance to the idea of running and my schedule, particularly with Step 2 and the rotations. Regardless, we established a semi-regular schedule and have made quite a bit of progress. Originally, we started running 3 miles, which at the time seemed like hell on earth to me. With regular dedicated running sessions, we have been able to up our regular workout to 5 miles at a time.

If you, the readership, will allow me, I'd like to make this a regular feature of the blog and keep you updated on my progress. I feel that, in addition to allowing you a glimpse into my life, it will help keep me honest and motivated to push through to August 2010. I'll keep a more regular update at the bottom with my times and mileage, but I'll post on here when we hit major milestones and the like.

Writing On The Wall - What? Hard Hat's Not Enough?

What in the name of the building code could this possibly entail?

Tell you what, you don't play with needles and I'll lay off the nail-gun.

Medical Code - Dean Dubiously Decries Offering, Opposition Overjoyed

I propose a possible perspective. To disagree, deny, or denounce my position is permissible. I only warn: worrisome is the world in which we live. Do not become prey to the game.

In the beginning, when the messiah proposed his healthcare plan, I could say with relative certainty that he and his supporters actually believed in healthcare reform. Despite the fact that I disagreed with the details and premise, while being continuously cautious and clueless, I could ceded the case that change, clearly, must come. My biggest beef with the burgeoning bill was the haste with which it was being blown through Congress. Full steam ahead, no looking back. It shocked and saddened me that this severe upheaval of the system was evolving overnight and no one was willing to pull in the reins. Ah, but a recent review of events has renewed my perspective on the matter.

Walk with Your Humble Observer while I paint a picture. Your Physician-In-Chief throws a plan out there, perhaps one that is doomed to failure. Regardless, it makes its way through the political system. As it gains ground, the country goes insane. The issue becomes ridiculously polarizing and highly charged. Debates. Debacles. Demonstrators turn vocal, and turn the volume to twelve.

As opposition gains strength, your Doctor-In-Chief takes to the turf, rallying to raise awareness. The more he pushes, the harder the opponents push back. The public will not play ball. They are not happy. And they're letting it be known.

So your Surgeon-In Chief settles for what he does best: he reaches out, across the aisle. He goes diplomatic on us. He sends an olive branch - No...Public...Option. A hush hovers over the nation. The public is pacified...perplexed, but slightly more peaceful. Hmmm. Ok, no public option, just these cooperatives. One eyebrow is raised. They're intrigued...

...When along comes a spider - Mr. "HEEYAAAAAH" himself, Howard Dean, hurls himself onto the stage. He bashes this new move by the White House.... HOW DARE THEY? If no public option, then no real reform. The opposition now has two eyebrows raised. Well, if the Dean-Eyed-Monster is against this, then it MUST be alright. They're on board! The messiah's believers are befuddled, bewildered...betrayed? But they can be brought around. A round of gentle coaxing and they're back on track.

And VOILA! A healthcare bill will come through. The Republicans will celebrate their victory over Obamacare, the Democrats will shout, "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" from the rooftops and relish in their triumph at being the generation that passed healthcare reform, and YOU?... you gained....what again?

Treks & The City - Episode #5

Ride It...My Ferry

Pictures from me riding the Staten Island Ferry for the first time. May I say, "Woo" and add, "HOO!"

Writing On The Wall - Like Peas And Carrots

Cause and effect?

Writing On The Wall - A Comparitive Study

Remember my post "Writing On The Wall - May I Just Say..." from 4/29/09?

One day, one week...typical.

Treks & The City - Episode #4

Out There Having Fun In The Warm Coney Island Sun

As a staunch Cali boy, Your Humble Observer equates summer with sun, 3-digit temperatures, swimming pools, lake trips, and khorovadz (BBQ). Now, while I'm sure all that is possible in this concrete jungle, I've experienced none of that as of yet. Let's face it between birthing babies, studying for Step, and mending the broken-hearted*, there hasn't exactly been much time for summertime activities. So what a breath of fresh air it was to take the short drive to Brooklyn's historic Coney Island for a day of boardwalks, beach, amusement park rides, and, of course, hot dogs and lemonade.

For those who don't know about Coney Island, here's a quick and dirty Wikipedia explanation:

"Coney Island is a peninsula, formerly an island, in southernmost Brooklyn with a beach on the Atlantic Ocean. The area was a major resort and site of amusement parks...Today, the amusement area contains various rides, games such as skeeball, ball tossing, and a sideshow...

Three of the rides at Coney Island are protected as designated NYC landmarks and recognized by the National Register of Historic Places.

-Wonder Wheel, opened in 1920. This steel Ferris wheel has both stationary cars and rocking cars that slide along a track. It holds 144 riders, stands 150 feet (46 m) tall, and weighs over 2,000 tons. At night the Wonder Wheel's steel frame is outlined and illuminated by neon tubes.

-The Cyclone roller coaster, built in 1927, is one of the nation's oldest wooden coasters still in operation. A favorite of some coaster aficionados, the Cyclone includes an 85-foot (26 m), 60 degree drop.

-The Parachute Jump was the first ride of its kind. Patrons were hoisted 190 feet (58 m) in the air before being allowed to drop using guy-wired parachutes. Although the ride has been closed since 1968, it remains a Coney Island landmark and is sometimes referred to as "Brooklyn's Eiffel Tower."

With my trusty companion S.A. (see Living for the Today) at my side, the day began with a quick lunch at Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs where I enjoyed a corn-dog and a lemonade. The hot dog stand is the site of the annual 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest.

After a quick stop at the "Shoot The Freak" stand (please don't make me explain this, it pains me just to think that it exists) and a bit of walking around the amusement park area, we took a quick tour of the New York Aquarium (and may I just say...God Bless Monterey, CA).

The day was rounded out with some serious walking up and down the boarwalk, and a 200 oz vanilla ice cream cone. It was great to finally get out into the sun, enjoy the weather, and see what Jerry Seinfeld was talking about (see "The Subway").

*More on my Cardiology rotation later

Writing On The Wall - Where Does Socialized Medicine End?

Dammit! I knew if we started extending healthcare to all Americans, those damn telephones would be next!

In Texto Veritas - "Rapid Response - 3B, Rapid Response - 3B"

From: YHO
Date: 8/06/09
Time: 12:29

"Gather in close, kids. Pull the blankets over you, dim the lights, and sip your cocoa. It's story time...

On 7/18 [YHO] sat for his Step 2 - CK exam. On 7/17 at 11:59 pm, he realized he had not printed the most important document for the test - Scheduling Permit. So, without further ado, he calmlywent to the [ECFMG] website to print it off and head to bed. Much to his dismay, the site was down for maintenance. Frantically, he hammered out an email to the site administrator begging for help, asking if the site would be back before his exam the next day... Silence.

The next morning, the site was up (though [YHO]'s nerves - shot) and off he went to his exam.

Fast-forward to 8/6 - 19 days later - when he receives the following [email]:

'Dear Doctor,

Please be advised that it appears this issue has been resolved as our records indicate you sat the exam 7/18/09.

Sincerely,

[Jerkface]'

My theoretical response:

Dear [Jerkface]

Thank you for your 'timely' response. Clearly you are talented to be able to ignore an issue and resolve it. One day, when you come into my hospital with an MI (heart attack), I hope I can provide the same quality treatment. I hear 19 days is enough time to save a life.

Sincerely,

Doctah K"

Writing On The Wall - If It's Yellow, Let It Mellow

Posted in the bathroom of the OB/GYN Department offices.

I always like a chuckle while I micturate.

Aaaaaand We're Back!

Step 2 - CK... CHECK!

The Official Hiatus *UPDATE*

June 23, 2009

A few quick notes on recent developments:

1. Step 2 - CK has been moved from 7/11 to 7/18

2. Cardiology has been moved from 7/6 to7/20

3. Medicine Sub-I has been moved from 8/3 to 8/17

Studying continues to be intense and hectic. Your prayers and encouragment are much appreciated.

YHO

The Official Hiatus

Dearest Readership,

First, let me take this opportunity to thank you, once again, for following the life and times of Your Humble Observer on this blog. Often when I post items here, I feel that I may be the only one laughing or reacting in a particular manner. Your comments and encouragement remind me that there are those of you who are right there laughing along with me. Again, for this I thank you.

As avid followers, you know that the priority in my life at this time is medical school. Again, as avid followers, you are aware that I have the second biggest exam of my young medical career coming up in just over a month (if you're not aware, just take a gander at my schedule at the bottom of this page). As a result I cannot devote the time necessary to continually update the blog. I believe that quality posting takes time, and I cannot devote this time to continue to do so. 

Therefore, consider this my official notice that I will be taking a Sabbatical until after July 11, at which time, I will resume posting to the blog. In my off time, I will continue to make mental (and sometimes written) notes about subjects I would like to tackle on this forum (and of course, I will continue to take pictures for "Writing on the Wall). When I return, I will also unveil a new (and most narcissistic) feature for the blog. The Twitter and Playoff features will continue to update during this hiatus, so you can always check what's going on in Your Humble Observer's head via this part of the blog

I thank you for your continued interest in my life and writing. I know that 50% of the readership is rolling their eyes at the melodrama associated with this letter (you know who you are, "Life is a Journey"), and I cannot wait to get back to writing on here on July 12, with renewed energy, vigor, and possibly outlook.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

YHO

Life, Liberty, and A Hands-On Government

Christ! Let me be the first to welcome you all to the United Socialist States of America. Way to go Messiah Obama!

USSA

It is no longer the United States of America if companies are NOT ALLOWED TO FAIL. I don't even know where I'm living anymore. Sad part is, my industry's next...and "we" are welcoming it with open arms.

Writing On The Wall - Say Again?

Apparently we can make a month-long celebration for anything nowadays.

WHAT?!?

I SAID...APPARENTLY WE CAN MAKE A MONTH-LONG CELEBRATION FOR ANYTHING NOWADAYS!!!

ALMA!!! CHECK YO' BATTERY!

OB/GYN: Gateway To A New World - Episode 3

May 17, 2009

Obstetrics In Translation

"Could you help me out?" = I need the sonogram machine...and I need you to wheel it over here

"Go take a history on the patient in triage" = I'm busy, I don't have anything for you to do, and I hate you.

"Do you have a copy of the patient list?" = The interns haven't updated the list and the labs are a mess and I need you to update it

"What have you learned today?" = I haven't seen you all day - granted I haven't been on the floor all day (but that's beside the point) - and I'm suspicious that you've been off doing something else, so 'fess up or so help me...

*This list was compiled after a particularly busy and trying night on call in labor and delivery. Residents are the most un-fun people when they're stressed... and they take it out on students. So I exact my revenge by publicly outing them here. Deal with it.

Aww HELLZ NO!

Listen, I'm barely getting over delivering babies for 15 and 17 year olds. Don't be draggin yourself into my Labor & Delivery ward...

"She's a 66-year-old successful career woman about to become a first-time mom. Elizabeth Adeney, now eight months pregnant, will be one of the oldest new mothers in the world."

Story

True Words From A Doctor On TV

Everyone I know seems to believe that I live in one long episode of "Grey's Anatomy". While there are no McDreamys, McSteamys, McCrappys, or even McRibs in my life, sometimes even the TV doctors speak to the heart. Here's a small excerpt from an episode of "Scrubs" I just saw:

Dr. Kelso: Remember when being a doctor meant that people would look up to you?

Dr. Cox: Yeah.

Dr. Kelso: When I first started out, I could take this white coat out, get a free hair cut, nice table at a restaurant, hell I never once got a speeding ticket.

Dr. Cox: People used to give me cards and gifts and sometimes even a pie for just doin' my job.

Dr. Kelso: Every mother wanted me to marry their daughter cause I was a doctor...

Dr. Cox: Those were the good old, incredibly disturbing, days, Bob. Today people think of us as drug-dispensing walking lawsuits who are, in fact, less informed than their internet phones... I will tell you one thing, though. If you even want to have an outside chance of reaching someone nowadays, you damn sure better speak from your heart.

Sometimes You Have To Take Matters Into Your Own Hands

Is it wrong that I found this STORY somewhat funny?

OB/GYN: Gateway To A New World - Episode 2

May 12, 2009

Let's Get It Out

There is something to be said about watching a placenta being delivered while Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" plays in the background.
Thank God for a healthy baby girl and a momma under general anesthesia!

OB/GYN: Gateway To A New World - Episode 1

May 11, 2009

There's a First for Everything...and Sometimes a Second as Well

I took part in my first Cesarean Section today... My 19 year old patient was not so naive; what, with this being her second C-section and all.

Reflections Of A Surgical Student - Episode 2

The Average Interaction With The Average Nurse

A patient's daughter waits paitently at the nurse's station, waiting for someone to acknowledge her existence. After 5 minutes, she looks exasperated. I approach her, find out her father's name and the nurse that is taking care of him. I then approach said nurse and have the following conversation:

YHO: Excuse me, Ms. B_____?
Nurse: (grunts without even turning to acknowledge me)
YHO: Your patient, Mr. H____'s daughter is waiting at the counter to speak with you.
N: What do you want?
YHO: I wanted to let you know...
N: I can't talk to anyone right now, I'm doing narcotics.
YHO: Ok, well when you get a chance, the daughter is waiting to...
N: Tell her to wait
YHO: (mumbling inaudibly) I'm sure she can't wait to see your sunshine face...

How am I supposed to continue respecting this individual when she makes me feel that my very existence is an inconvenience to her?

Reflections Of A Surgical Student - Episode 1

My surgery rotation has mercifully come and gone, leaving behind a plethora of memories, emotions, and...oh ya, some knowledge as well. One thing I've learned: surgical wounds heal, but they always leave behind a scar...and sometimes some adhesions. So I will spend the next few posts working on a series called "Reflections Of A Surgical Student", an ex-lap, if you will, of my experience in a surgical rotation. Here are my adhesions...

Episode 1 - Thank You Sir, May I Have Another

Surgery has a solid place as the more brutal of the specialties. The hours are crap, the abuse is crap, and half the time you have your hands in crap (quite literally). But if ever there has been a resilient group of individuals, it is the surgical residents.

These gals and guys deal with early mornings, late nights, shifting schedules, demanding attendings, crappy patients (again...quite literally), and still have to maintain sanity*. They stand up in front of a group of greybeard surgeons and do immaculate presentations and still take a verbal lashing. And tomorrow?...they'll do it again!

For the life of me, I cannot understand why anyone chooses this lifestyle. Well...I couldn't understand it; not until I went through this rotation. The reason is, simply put, they LOVE it. They love the challenge, the drive, and the immediate gratification of fixing a problem. No long, drawn-out patient work-ups. Just get 'em in, cut 'em up, put 'em back together, and sew 'em up. There is no feeling like seeing the immediate results, the fruit of your labors, and watching your patient get better right in front of your eyes.

This, coupled with the rush of literally holding another humans life (and bowels) in your hands, is simply like a drug for them. And I can understand that (I'd never choose it in a million years, but I get it.)

I get it, because I myself have had this opportunity. It was during a thoracic surgery where I was able to touch a living, breathing human being's aorta. Now, I've been in an anatomy lab and touched an aorta there...pales in comparison to touching the real thing. Here it was: the lifeblood of this man rushing through the PVC pipe-sized vessel that feeds his entire body. It was amazing.

And so, they get beaten down by the attendings, senior residents, nurses, PAs, medical students...and they come back for more. It's almost a mind-boggling phenomenon...but I get it.

*Some argue this was lost at the point that they chose their field.

Patients Say The Darndest Things #4

A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet

Resident: So do you want us to take a piece of this [mass] so we can figure out what it is?
Patient: You can take a piece, but I don't want no biopsy. I already told them.
R: Sir, a biopsy is just our fancy way of saying "taking a piece". It's the same thing.
P: No, I don't want no biopsy. You can take a piece but no biopsy.
R: Sir, I'm trying to explain that they're the same thing.
P: I already told you I don't want no biopsy.
R: So you don't want us to take a piece?
P: No.
R: (shaking head) Fine. Just sign off on this patient.

Writing On The Wall - "Just Say It"

In honour of the last day of my surgery rotation:



Ok, you know what? Enough!!! If you have something to say...JUST SAY IT!!
Don't try and be cute with these little signs. They're not funny, thought-provoking, or clever.

Mind Boggling Phenomena - The One And Only Parsley Salad

Need I say more?

Writing On The Wall - How We Follow Directions In Medicine

In Texto Veritas - A Comedy of Errors...Subway Style

From: M.R.
Date: 3/11/09
Time: 18:30

This may only make sense to those who understand the NYC train system.

"M. attempts to go to Queens. Get on B train at DeKalb. Fall Asleep before train so much as starts moving. Wake up on 81st [in Manhattan]. Crap. Get out and transfer to downtown B. Get excited because there is an F train on the opposite side. Hobble on. At 34th Street, realize I am an idiot. This is the downtown F. Get out. Transfer to uptown F. Fall asleep before train starts moving. Wake up at 179th Street [in Queens]. Take the F downtown again."

For those who are unfamiliar... NYC Subway

Medical Code - Giving In To The Hype *UPDATED*

I've succumbed to the hysteria to better inform you, the readership.

Does anyone remember SARS, Bird Flu, Mad Cow Disease? Remember they were going to wipe out the entire human species? And yet...somehow, we managed to survive those impending pandemics.

Well, I can promise you that within a year you'll be classifying Swine Flu with the above.

There is so much media buzz surrounding this viral end to humanity, I think someone needs to take a step back and examine this whole situation. Enter Your Humble Observer.

What is swine flu?
Swine flu is an influenza virus that is similar, not the same, to the garden variety flu virus that makes us miserable during the cold months. It is generally not found in humans, but has been known to make the jump from pigs to humans.

Is this a new virus?
Yes and no. Swine flu is not a new virus. This particular strain is actually a genetic mash-up of the swine, human, and avian influenza viruses. However, it's also not the first time it's caused human pandemic scares. For those old enough to remember (and I most certainly am not) there was a swine flu craze in 1976 that ended in what some claim to be a disastrous immunization program. That scare never materialized into a real threat.

Oh My God! I sneezed today...do I have swine flu?
Alright. First, everyone take a deep breath...good. Now reflect on the amount of bacteria, viruses, and environmental crap you just inhaled. Ok, now realize that for most of us, our bodies are strong enough to get rid of the vast and overwhelming majority of all that junk. So there is no need to panic at a sniffle.

Well, ok, so maybe I don't have swine flu...but what if I did? How might that go?
The swine flu is expected to manifest in the same way regular old flu does. The hallmarks of the flu are the following:
-Fever
-Cough
-Muscle Aches
-Extreme tiredness
-Sore throat
-Runny nose
-Possibly vomiting & diarrhea
(Incidentally, you can get 56% of these symptoms just by being a medical student)

Oh God! I have 67% of those symptoms. Quick, tell me what I can get at Duane Reade/Rite Aid to cure the piggy flu.
If you feel like you may have the flu, STAY HOME!!! Nobody wants your draining orifices around them. Experts are saying give it about 7 days for the symptoms to go away. Only go to your doctor if the symptoms become very severe. There are various anti-viral medications available for proven cases, but you probably wouldn't need them even if you did get the virus. Generally, I say stick to Mom's home flu therapy.

Listen you over-confident, know-it-all, holier-than-thou, med-student jerk...some of us are really scared about this thing. So get off your high horse and tell us what we can do to prevent this thing.
The information I am about to reveal to you here is very technical, very advanced, and straight from the CDC website:
#1 Wash your hands
#2 Avoid contact with sick people
#3 Avoid contact with surfaces that may have been coughed/sneezed on by sick people (if you come into contact with such a surface, see #1)
#4 Stay healthy by eating well, sleeping well, drinking a lot of fluid, and being physically active
(You think I'm joking? CDC-Swine Flu)
...and may I add in a holier-than-though, over-confident, know-it-all way... DUH!!!

I don't care what you say! I'm going Darth Vader on this Mo-Fo!
Well, as cute a look as that may be, the use of face-masks and respirators is not really shown to be necessary in day-to day activities, unless of course you're going to be making out with an individual who has a confirmed case of bacon flu. And yes, that even means in the subway.

Can I serve my pork chops and hot-dogs at my Memorial Day BBQ?
As mentioned before, this virus is like the regular flu virus, down to how it's transmitted. It is spread by what we call respiratory droplets (a.k.a. a huge ACHOO right in someone's face). You cannot get swine flu by gorging on delicious pork products. (I recommend the GUT BOMB)

Fine then...Anything else I should know?
Just keep a few things in mind:
1. In the U.S. the regular flu has killed about 11,733 individuals this year (about 98.6 people per day). The swine flu has killed 1 people this year (0.09 people per day). At the time of this writing, there have been a total of 109 confirmed cases in the U.S. (50 in New York)

2. Get your information from reputable sources. And remember that news outlets are there to keep your attention. Sometimes the way they have to do that is scare the hell out of you. Just something to think about the next time the news starts talking about pandemics, vaccines, and quarantines.

3. Don't get me wrong, there will be more documented cases, and yes even deaths, from the swine flu. Your Humble Observer is not arrogant enough to believe that noone will be infected. It may even progress to pandemic level. I just don't believe that the outcomes of widespread infection will be a devestating level of death and destruction.

4. You can't stop living your normal day-to-day life because of his. Don't burn your skin in acid if someone coughs 15 feet away from you. Be cautious, be healthy, and be happy.

These are the jokes, folks... Do I Have Khoz Flu?

Writing On The Wall - May I Just Say...

...BULL-CRAP!!!!



Please see post from 04-18-2009 "Mind Boggling Phenomena - Nurse Of The Year"
Nobody feels this way towards the doctors - at least not at the hospitals I've been in so far. Sorry, it just does not happen.

Mind Boggling Phenomena - Classy!

As the residents and medical students approach the elevators to begin their morning rounds, a woman exits the elevator wearing a t-shirt with the following written prominently across the front:

"F--- You, You F---ing F---"

(censored for the readership's virgin eyes)

Wow! Ya, suddenly I feel like taking better care of you or your loved ones.
Listen, it's a funny shirt for a college freshman to be wearing to his 8 am Poli-Sci class. Not for a 50+ woman in a hospital. Nobody's got no class*.

*87 points to the person who can identify this lyric.

Why You Won't Find Me in Times Square Tomorrow

Armenians are outraged. 94 years of Genocide denial and yet, year after year...nothing. So what are they doing? Tomorrow they are taking to the streets of Manhattan to stage a protest...

...I'm not sure exactly what it is they are protesting. I'm an Armenian. I've taken part in my share of Armenian Genocide activities: Marches, demonstrations, lectures, cultural events. I refuse to do it anymore.  I'm not putting myself out there year after year for the government to give me lip service to my face and turn around and laugh at me behind my back. 

"Oh, come on! That can't be true! They're not doing that to you!!" 

Oh ya? Let's examine shall we?

I also share with Armenian Americans – so many of whom are descended from genocide survivors - a principled commitment to commemorating and ending genocide. That starts with acknowledging the tragic instances of genocide in world history. As a U.S. Senator, I have stood with the Armenian American community in calling for Turkey's acknowledgement of the Armenian Genocide. Two years ago, I criticized the Secretary of State for the firing of U.S. Ambassador to Armenia, John Evans, after he properly used the term "genocide" to describe Turkey's slaughter of thousands of Armenians starting in 1915. I shared with Secretary Rice my firmly held conviction that the Armenian Genocide is not an allegation, a personal opinion, or a point of view, but rather a widely documented fact supported by an overwhelming body of historical evidence. The facts are undeniable. 

-Barack  H. Obama, January 19, 2008

Obama on Genocide

Ninety four years ago, one of the great atrocities of the 20th century began. Each year, we pause to remember the 1.5 million Armenians who were subsequently massacred or marched to their death in the final days of the Ottoman Empire.

-Barack H. Obama, April 24, 2009

The New & Improved Obama on Atrocities

No mention of genocide but a clear acknowledgement that he's backing off his original statements. What a spineless, gutless, creep. 

He's not the first and he won't be the last. He's just the latest in the long chain of lying bastard politicians who continue the culture of denial. So I refuse to take part in a failing symbolic event, year after year. 

I can make my peace with the souls of the murdered. I can't do anything to force others to do the same.

Writing On The Wall - Sick And Tired of Being Sick And Tired

Here's an idea...
STOP DOING HEROIN!!!

In Texto Veritas - A Procedure To Bear My Name

From: YHO
Date: 04/20/09
Time: 11:35

"My [another medical school] colleagues have driven me to develop a new surgical procedure: Percutaneous Esophageal Fistulostomy. It's a new and risky procedure, but I can see it becoming standard of care for stress removal in AUC medical students."