I've succumbed to the hysteria to better inform you, the readership.
Does anyone remember SARS, Bird Flu, Mad Cow Disease? Remember they were going to wipe out the entire human species? And yet...somehow, we managed to survive those impending pandemics.
Well, I can promise you that within a year you'll be classifying Swine Flu with the above.
There is so much media buzz surrounding this viral end to humanity, I think someone needs to take a step back and examine this whole situation. Enter Your Humble Observer.
What is swine flu?
Swine flu is an influenza virus that is similar, not the same, to the garden variety flu virus that makes us miserable during the cold months. It is generally not found in humans, but has been known to make the jump from pigs to humans.
Is this a new virus?
Yes and no. Swine flu is not a new virus. This particular strain is actually a genetic mash-up of the swine, human, and avian influenza viruses. However, it's also not the first time it's caused human pandemic scares. For those old enough to remember (and I most certainly am not) there was a swine flu craze in 1976 that ended in what some claim to be a disastrous immunization program. That scare never materialized into a real threat.
Oh My God! I sneezed today...do I have swine flu?
Alright. First, everyone take a deep breath...good. Now reflect on the amount of bacteria, viruses, and environmental crap you just inhaled. Ok, now realize that for most of us, our bodies are strong enough to get rid of the vast and overwhelming majority of all that junk. So there is no need to panic at a sniffle.
Well, ok, so maybe I don't have swine flu...but what if I did? How might that go?
The swine flu is expected to manifest in the same way regular old flu does. The hallmarks of the flu are the following:
-Fever
-Cough
-Muscle Aches
-Extreme tiredness
-Sore throat
-Runny nose
-Possibly vomiting & diarrhea
(Incidentally, you can get 56% of these symptoms just by being a medical student)
Oh God! I have 67% of those symptoms. Quick, tell me what I can get at Duane Reade/Rite Aid to cure the piggy flu.
If you feel like you may have the flu, STAY HOME!!! Nobody wants your draining orifices around them. Experts are saying give it about 7 days for the symptoms to go away. Only go to your doctor if the symptoms become very severe. There are various anti-viral medications available for proven cases, but you probably wouldn't need them even if you did get the virus. Generally, I say stick to Mom's home flu therapy.
Listen you over-confident, know-it-all, holier-than-thou, med-student jerk...some of us are really scared about this thing. So get off your high horse and tell us what we can do to prevent this thing.
The information I am about to reveal to you here is very technical, very advanced, and straight from the CDC website:
#1 Wash your hands
#2 Avoid contact with sick people
#3 Avoid contact with surfaces that may have been coughed/sneezed on by sick people (if you come into contact with such a surface, see #1)
#4 Stay healthy by eating well, sleeping well, drinking a lot of fluid, and being physically active
(You think I'm joking? CDC-Swine Flu)
...and may I add in a holier-than-though, over-confident, know-it-all way... DUH!!!
I don't care what you say! I'm going Darth Vader on this Mo-Fo!
Well, as cute a look as that may be, the use of face-masks and respirators is not really shown to be necessary in day-to day activities, unless of course you're going to be making out with an individual who has a confirmed case of bacon flu. And yes, that even means in the subway.
Can I serve my pork chops and hot-dogs at my Memorial Day BBQ?
As mentioned before, this virus is like the regular flu virus, down to how it's transmitted. It is spread by what we call respiratory droplets (a.k.a. a huge ACHOO right in someone's face). You cannot get swine flu by gorging on delicious pork products. (I recommend the GUT BOMB)
Fine then...Anything else I should know?
Just keep a few things in mind:
1. In the U.S. the regular flu has killed about 11,733 individuals this year (about 98.6 people per day). The swine flu has killed 1 people this year (0.09 people per day). At the time of this writing, there have been a total of 109 confirmed cases in the U.S. (50 in New York)
2. Get your information from reputable sources. And remember that news outlets are there to keep your attention. Sometimes the way they have to do that is scare the hell out of you. Just something to think about the next time the news starts talking about pandemics, vaccines, and quarantines.
3. Don't get me wrong, there will be more documented cases, and yes even deaths, from the swine flu. Your Humble Observer is not arrogant enough to believe that noone will be infected. It may even progress to pandemic level. I just don't believe that the outcomes of widespread infection will be a devestating level of death and destruction.
4. You can't stop living your normal day-to-day life because of his. Don't burn your skin in acid if someone coughs 15 feet away from you. Be cautious, be healthy, and be happy.
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