In an attempt to shift the blog back to its original spirit here is a conversation Your Humble Observer was fortunate enough to be a part of :
YHO: Hello, I would like to return this merchandise that was delivered broken.
Retail Worker: It was delivered damaged?
YHO: Yes Ma'am
RW: Well, did you call them?
YHO: Did I call... them?
RW: Ya. Did you call them?
YHO: Did I call... *confused look* who?
RW: The... the... uh... the... the internet.
YHO: Did I... call... the INTERNET?
RW: You know, the people on the internet.
YHO: Um... no I brought my damaged merchandise back to the store it was purchased from. I did NOT call the internet.
RW: Well, you're going to have to wait until I can figure this out.
YHO: *muttering* You take your time now.
And now, the subtext:
YHO: Yo. I'm post-call and exhausted. This stuff came broken. Take it back!
Retail Worker: Bro- ken?
YHO: Were you not present for the start of this conversation?
RW: I can't deal with this. I'm going to pawn this off on someone else. Hmmm, let me try to pin this on "them".
YHO: Wha...huh?
RW: Oh crap, he's on to me. Quick, figure out who "them" could be.
YHO: Wha...HUH?
RW: Everyone blames that internet thing. Ya, let's go with that
YHO: Is that a real question? Are you really going with "the internet"?
RW: Double down time - Yes, the internet.
YHO: Crap, I'm screwed. Let me try some bigger words like "purchased". Maybe that will work.
RW: Well, that didn't work. Let me use my upper hand of "I'm too busy" to buy some time.
YHO: By all means, take your time. I ain't slept in 36 hours, but, you know, go ahead and call the internet or Mars or Santa Clause. I should have just gone in to work today.
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