Do You Speak Resident?

Today has been the greatest day for conversations with the residents. Here are a few examples...

Conversation #1

[Background: Thursdays are academic days where we are not responsible to scrub into cases]

Res: Hey, the chief needs you to go scrub into a case with him in OR 1

YHO: Scrub in?

Res: Ya, you know, that thing where you wash your hands and wear clean clothes to do surgery

YHO: Thank you, I'm familiar with the concept
Res: Just get over there and scrub in.

YHO (Staring dumbly at his phone)

Conversation #2

Chief Res (mumbling something unintelligbily)

YHO to Intern#1: Dr. O, where is it the chief said we had to go?

Intern #1: Oh, sorry...what? Did they say something? I wasn't listening.

YHO to Intern #2: Dr. J, did you happen to catch what the chief just said?

Intern #2: Huh? He said something?

YHO (looking sideways at the two "brain surgeons" who somehow already have MD behind their names)

Conversation #3

YHO: Do they perform [heart] valve replacement surgery here?

Res: Valve replacement is easy. It's like changing a bolt on some machinery.

YHO: Well, it's something I'd really be interested in. Are there any cases like that?

Res: It's an easy operation. Just a tiny incision.

YHO: That's fine, but I'm telling you that it's something I'd really want to see. So do they perform that procedure at this hospital?

Res: They have a new method now. It's called the "gun approach". They put the valve in a gun and shoot it right at your chest and the valve goes in.

YHO (glaring at the resident)

Res (smiling back like an idiot, so profoundly proud of his little jokes)

I wonder if anyone has invented the "gun approach" to replacing a sense of humor. Boy would I LOVE to shoot that at his head.