...if only in my dreams.

One man, a plane, and exploration of the depths of his soul. From NYC to FAT. A journey in song.

The past week has been rather nerve wracking for Your Humble Observer considering the snow storms moving through the Northeast. Nonetheless I kept faith that come Saturday I would be airborne toward home. I knew that if I could just get off the ground from JFK, I'd be golden. (A set-up such as this one can only be foreshadowing the exact opposite. Keep reading, I bet it gets interesting.)

12/20/2008 (all times Eastern)
0800 - Saturday morning found Your Humble Observer alert, awake, and oriented x3 , ready to fly home. The weather had settled down and all indications were that there would be no problem leaving New York that afternoon. "Oh there's no place like home for the holidays..."

1300 - I arrived at the airport 3 hours early, just in case. I realize that you're always gambling flying this time of year, and I accepted the risks and consequences of doing so. Things are looking good. "It's the most wonderful time of the year..."

1525 - 30 minutes prior to boarding, we found out the flight would be delayed an hour. No problem! I had 2 hours in between flights in LA, and I figured they'd be able to make up time in the air. Still cheery! "Have a holly-jolly Christmas..."

1755 - 2 hours after the flight was originally ready to depart, I was still waiting for the slowest cleaning crew in the history of vacuums to get done with the plane so we could board. Starting to get a little worried, "But as long as you love me so, let it snow..."

1830 - As the plane is taking off, all indications are that we will arrive in LAX literally 5 minutes AFTER my flight to Fresno is scheduled to depart. Yikes! Still have hope!!! "Run, run, Rudolph. Santa's gotta make it town..."

1837 - The captain comes on to inform us that the plane is facing 200 MPH headwinds, putting our arrival time a firm ONE HOUR after the original arrival time. "They should never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves..."

1838 - I begin to doubt that I'll make it home tonight "I'll have a bluuuuue Christmas..."

2359 - As we prepare for arrival at LAX the flight attendant mentions that there is a connecting flight to FAT at gate 44J. HURRAY!! "Joy to the world..."

12/21
0014 - Disappointment once again, as I find out that the "connecting flight" is actually the flight at 7 am the next morning. "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout..."

0100 - The ground shakes as all restaurants, cafes, Starbucks, bathrooms shut their doors at once as the terminal closes down. I'm left with a terrible chicken sandwich from Burger King as they had run out of LITERALLY everything else. "Siiiiiiilent night..."

0352 - I'm sitting here finding clever ways to amuse the readership (and myself), awaiting 0745 Pacific to arrive so he can go home. "Want a plane that loops-da-loop, I still want a huuuuuuuuuuuuula-hoooooooooop..."

I want the readership to know that during the course of today's events, I never gave up (until the Burger King incident), I stayed positive, never got frustrated, angry, snippy, or pissy at any time. I maintain my Christmas spirit to the last.
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. From now on our troubles will be out of sight."

And what's the moral of this story? No matter how bad things start looking:
1. There is nothing worse than a Burger King Chicken Sandwhich
2. There's always worse... Denver