I've Been Had

"I've said the same thing to four different people today, and you're the first person to tell me, 'I understand', and I appreciate it. Because I don't like being talked down to, and I don't like being appeased. I like being understood."

These words from my patient's lips was greater than any of the pats on the head offered by any intern, resident, chief, or attending. It meant I was doing my job. I'm not talking about the 'job' of running around like a chicken with its head cut off, writing notes, getting Radiology to read films, or updating patient lists. I mean attending to people's needs and concerns. After all, what is a doctor if not someone who is concerned with your well-being, be it physical or emotional? I realize that for the most part, I don't do much to help them with their physical ailments. At the end of the day, however, when I've left my last patient's room, I feel confident that I've devoted the proper attention to them and done my best as their advocate.

So how do I shake this sheepish feeling of being 2 inches tall that came about when I realized a different patient was simply using me for their own selfish reasons. For reasons of confidentiality, I cannot divulge any particular information. Suffice it to say someone is abusing the system, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. When the amused nurse brought it to my attention, I felt more than stupid for having fought for this patient all day, and actually been quite annoyed at the apathetic response I received.

I knew these situations existed in medicine, and I had vowed that I wouldn't let them get me down. But when you've put all you've got into being there for a patient, it's hard to swallow the disappointment. So how does one walk away from the hospital, go home, sleep for 5 hours, and get up the next morning to do it all again?

You move on and treat all patients with the same compassion regardless of their intentions. Because that's what you're there for. As one of my classmates who once was in the military put it: "You live to fight another day." which to me means, there are worse tragedies in life, so shake it off and get yourself back in the fray.